You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
