I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
