It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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