Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
