Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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