about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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