And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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