I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
