you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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