remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
