You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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