actually, I'm a sock model
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
