The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
