i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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