I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize