dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
