Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My vagina is officially offended.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
