Where did you get a picture of my penis
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
