I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
