I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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