my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
