Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
