ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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