Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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