Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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