at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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