Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
