I seem to have left my pride at pride
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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