Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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