Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
