Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize