Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
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