Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
