Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
