Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize