check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
