My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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