he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
