Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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