Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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