Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize