Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Panties = found
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
