So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
