you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The air taste purple.
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