youre lurking in front of me
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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