I cannot find my penis.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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