well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
