she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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