a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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