don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
