you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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