I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
