it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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