i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
