the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
