Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just want to make out with him forever
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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