Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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