It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Can I color on your dick again?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize