I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
They have beer where we have blood.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
